Even as I was writing my tribute to our fallen hero, I knew that it would stir up a myriad of feelings in so many different people. I sometimes lose sight of how many people read this page but when I started writing this it was for me and my family. That's who I continue to write it for. The rest of your are invited guests. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you find my ramblings interesting enough to come back for but my goal with this is to write about what I'm feeling and experiencing.
Believe me, I understand the pain that this kind of news invokes, especially in wives and families at home. That's one of the things that caused me so much heartache yesterday, imagining what my own wife and sons would be going through if I was the one who was lost.
I appreciate the comment that I should have written this for my personal journal. I also appreciate the comments that this was where it should have been written. That's the beauty of a blog and the comments, you get to say what's on your mind regardless of who agrees with it. So keep the comments coming, even if you disagree or disapprove of what I've written.
Hindsight being 20/20, maybe I should have waited a day or two to post that entry but at the same time, I wanted to express what I was feeling and thinking at the time I was feeling and thinking those thoughts.
After all, isn't that what this forum is for?
As Trooper's Wife pointed out, when tragic events like this happen, all the phone lines and internet connections here are shut down to give the military time to contact the family of the fallen soldier. I knew that. I also knew that when the lines came back up, the family had been notified. That's why I felt OK about posting that comment.
I truly hope that I never have to write a similar entry, especially for one of my "family." That was the last thought process I went through, but didn't express in yesterdays comment; what if it were a close friend of mine? Would I write another entry? Absolutely! Would it be just as painful, just as hard? Of course, but I would write it anyway. I just hope and pray that I never have to.