Sunday, November 05, 2006

REVENGE!!! A Bug Story

If you read Aaron’s or Trooper’s blogs a couple of weeks ago, you read about going to the range and firing weapons. The Germans showed up and I got to fire their crew served weapons. It was pretty cool. I didn’t take any pictures because my camera is broken and has been sent in to get fixed. Merrill took some pictures for me but I haven’t gotten them from him so haven’t posted anything yet.

Don’t ask my why I just thought of this story but it just came to me. After we fired the weapons, we were picking up the brass shell casings. Sometimes the troops will leave the casings so the locals can come out, pick them up and sell them for money. Not this time. We were taking them.

So there I was, I had my hand full of brass casings. I was bent over trying to be a good soldier and do my part. I could have been a fat*ss LTC and let everyone else do my work, (OK, my butt is not fat) but felt a duty to help with the work. As I’m studying the ground, looking for more shells, Aaron walks up and says “Here” or something else like that. He dumped some more casings in my hand. I just about asked him why he was giving them to me when I noticed this huge, gigantic, enormous, larger than my hand, ready to bite my arm off with these pincers that were at least a mile long, disgusting, gross black beetle. It was crawling across the casings in my hand making a beeline up my sleeve.

At least I didn’t’ scream like a girl!!! (Unlike some people I hear who scream like a girl when they get cold water dumped on them in the shower!!!) I did yell (but it was a manly yell, the kind that is deep and masculine, the kind of yell that other men respect), drop the casings and that ginormous beetle on the ground. Of course Aaron was laughing. The chase was on. I didn’t catch him then but now that I’ve recalled this incident and will not forget it, I’m going to have to think of something just as evil to get him back with.

Since I know his kind, loving brothers and family read this blog, I would appreciate some input as to the kinds of creepy, crawly disgusting things that he hates.

Not that I would do anything with that information of course…

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bob,

The basic problem is that icky, gross, creepy-crawly things are all cool to Aaron. You need a paradigm shift into something more like the photo I have of Aaron playing his viola.

Dad

JAGMAN said...

Dad,

If you felt inclined to send such a picture as the one you mentioned, I'm sure I could put it to very good use.

robert.church@afghan.swa.army.mil

Anonymous said...

Yea, I know what'cha mean.

Andrew said...

I've really taken the request seriously. It's hard to come up with things he's scared of. His brain just doesn't work that way. The more embarrasing stories are somewhat "legally challenging" and probably shouldn't be posted. I don't know how much time needs to pass to limit the amount of lawsuits.

He's a sweet boy even though there is an ounce of Satan in him....

Anonymous said...

I think someone might still have a picture of him leaving a "present" in the middle of a road.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. I can not think of anything bad about Aaron. Why would a 43 year old and members of his own family want to publish rotten things about a nice, innocent young man like Aaron on the internet for all to see? Did he retaliate when you posted pictures of him with stuff drawn on his face? Did he over react when certain members of his family decided to post embarrassing stories from his childhood? I am of the opinion that he has reacted maturely to these rather juvenile attacks. If I were you, I would be extremely wary continuing this course of action. This warning also applies to those who contribute to this immature request. Aaron is a nice young man, although, if the line is crossed, that “ounce of Satan” will show itself. Aaron is surprisingly cleaver and most likely has sensitive information concerning involved parties that could be divulged in a moments notice in the most public manner possible. I would not be surprised to know if he already has in his possession or has the means to acquire user names and passwords to online accounts to make an end to this war now. This is a conflict that I do not think that any person who is involved fully understands Aaron’s capabilities, resources and to what length he will go to be victorious. As a friend, I suggest that this madness stops or be prepared to have a massive and violent beyond all belief crap storm pound down on you all.

BE YE WARNED!!

Anonymous said...

NO Bob NO!!
That picture of him playing his viola is too special. Mommie loves that picture. What he really hates is Poop!! Place a little or a lot of feces in a box and put it on his bed or better in his shoe. He will jump around like a crazy man, scream and say a four letter word like Oh, POOP!! He will sound just like a "girl."

No picture Bob!! Mommie says so.

Andrew said...

Are police reports public record? Do they require a subpoena?

Natalie said...

Bob - it was an itsy bitsy tiny harmless bug that could be squashed with one step. The trauma of the event lasted, I'm assuming, less then a minute. Is this revenge neccessary? If so isn't there something in the law where the punishment is equivalent to the crime, or should be.I mean isn't that what you want and discuss on your blog frequently dealing with the ANA? We are talking about justice here, not revenge.